I had a fantastic feeling week last week, well overall that is. I actually had several days of feeling really good- almost normal even. This week has been the burst of cold reality that yep, you’re pregnant with two babies sucking the life out of you. Just kidding. I’m a bit grateful, on the good days last week, my paranoia would tell me that something was wrong since my hormones weren’t making me sick. So my trusty companion, Senor Sickypants, has come back and he’s surprisingly welcome. I hear morning sickness might linger another few weeks because of the duplex going on inside, but that’s alright. I’ve gained a pound so we’re counting it a victory! The Lord is so faithful, over and again I am reminded that this thing that is happening is HIS work. There is not one thing I can do to make it happen. I don’t know that I’ve ever been this out of control in something happening directly to me. I suppose I have, I just wasn’t prepared to admit it at the time. I like the illusion of control. But to be honest, I am really loving this season with the Lord. There is a desperation that always makes things interesting- a “knowing” that apart from him, apart from abiding in Christ, this is a futile effort.
Okay so down to the nitty gritty.
How am I feeling? Thanks for asking! “Good enough!” has become my go to answer. I don’t feel so terribly bad as I know many ladies do during this season, I just don’t feel good. My sister termed it “hard to put a smile on your face” feeling. Only a few more weeks to go.
Am I showing? Enough to look chubby. No maternity clothes yet, but I did unbutton my pants at work twice this week…felt like I’d just eaten too much or that the fact I never work out anymore was catching up with me. There is a little pooch that doesn’t go away now. It’s pretty cute to think the little guys are in there…apparently they’re the size of little limes now. Limes. A fruit you can actually cut in half and still see. (Did Graham mention they are moving and grooving in there? Flailing about and flipping around on the ultrasound last week).
Am I gaining weight? A little bit. It’s always awkward to switch from tracking the LOSS to actually tracking the gain. We write it on our bathroom mirror.
Cravings? Taco Bell (yep, ate it four times in the past week)…and saltine crackers. I’ve eaten a lot of cheese and crackers lately, melted like I used to eat for a snack after grade school. Right now? I want Tokyo Express. But that’s probably just because it’s incredible and contains high doses of MSG.
Hormones? Holy crap. I find myself grumpy. And a bit ridiculous, I’ve teared up talking to two of my bosses in the past two days, a co-worker this morning, a GUY from our small group when he came to dinner at our house on Monday, and of course consistently with Graham. I’m awesome. It’s usually over nice things, or semi-appropriate things. Usually.
We’re starting a pool on the genders. Stay tuned…