In the communities fighting fear, my insecurities, constant failure, and facing the unknown I knew my only survival was in God, my Everlasting Savior. I sought Him as my life depended on it. Ironically we never feel this desperation until God takes away all that we are leaning on so that we finally fall into His Grace. Sadly I do not always acknowledge that my life and every breath depend on Him. How much to do I truly seek God in comfort? Not much, I imagine. I am not desperate. Circumstances should not dictate my desperation for His continual presence, but love. I want to be desperate for God out of my love for Him because without Him I am empty, void of life. I live and breathe because of Him. Whether we can feel it or not, we are totally dependent on His Grace in all things.
How many times have I taken the path of least resistance, taking the long way about so I wouldn’t have to face battle, when I should have chosen the hill on which I would die with my back to the sea, with no retreat, no surrender, desperately seeking He who is my Joy, my Savior? In comfort this gets lost in the fog of our own sense of security that is as sure as the wind. Many generals in the wars of men have deliberately put their men in positions of no retreat because they knew in desperation they would fight with such ferocity to live. There was no other option.
I want God as my only option and leave myself with no escape. In all circumstances I want to be desperate for Him. I want to be in the constant state of mind that says, “if I don’t seek Him, I will die.” I will not be satisfied. I will live in desperation for Him. Not only when I am left with nothing, but even when all is available, I desire to choose Him for I know that in the end He is the only real option.
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
– John 15:4,5